How I Finished 2015

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2015 was a darn amazing year. Yes, there were times it sucked, but I had great friends who let me cry all over them and talk to them when I needed, so that’s ok. I survived and blah blah blah. If you’ve been reading my blog, you basically know what I’ve been up to all year. I went back to Wales, played basketball and netball, finished my degree, started my first grown up job and then I went back to Wales because I missed everyone. Well, after Wales I went to Edinburgh and fell in love.

Edinburgh is easily my third favourite city in the world after Paris and New Orleans. Once again, I fell asleep in a new city and woke up having no idea where I was. It took me a few minutes of looking around my tiny bunk area before I clued in that I was in Edinburgh and I was getting a tattoo that day! After dragging myself out of bed, grabbing a quick bite to eat, I was off to meet my tattoo artist and get some new ink!

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Gemma at Edinburgh Ink was my artist that day and she did a phenomenal job! Thanks, Gemma!

After my tattoo I met up with a friend who is from Scotland and we did touristy stuff around the city for the rest of the day. If there is any city in the world that does Christmas right, it’s Edinburgh. There are Christmas markets spread around the main area of the city that you can visit, plus lots of lights, bag pipers playing Christmas songs, and there is even a CHRISTMAS TREE MAZE!

I loved the Christmas Tree Maze!

I loved the Christmas Tree Maze!

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Edinburgh knows how to do Christmas. I did a happy dance seeing this.

On our way to the maze, I couldn’t stop skipping and hopping because I was so excited. Apparently I am a five year old. The maze wasn’t as big as I had hoped, but it was still fun to go through it and find Santa’s Workshop. My friend and I toddled through the maze while I giggled and couldn’t stop smiling. Basically, everything we did after the Christmas Tree Maze was a bonus. And there were a lot of bonuses! We wound up exploring the Scottish National Gallery, one of the Christmas Markets (we were looking for gnomes), and then he made me try a deep fried Mars bar, which I thought was very American, but it turns out it’s a Scottish thing. It’s basically deep friend diabetes and it was like chewing on Heaven.

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I was supposed to go and see the castle, but wound up on Portobello Beach. I can now say that I’ve put my feet in both the east and west coast waters of the UK!

Edinburgh was amazing. My last day there I woke up with a really bad cold so I had an easy day exploring used book stores, and then I met a guy from north Wales in a pub and wound up having lunch with him. Once he found out that I had studied in Wales he said that he’d buy me a shot for every Welsh word I could say correctly and he wound up buying me exactly 5 shots. We spent the afternoon drinking and laughing until it was time for him to go meet his friends and I decided to explore the city some more.

A sleeper bus is basically full of human sized cubby holes for people to sleep in.

A sleeper bus is basically full of human sized cubby holes for people to sleep in.

Eventually 10:45PM rolled around and it was time for me to board my sleeper bus to go to London for my last night in the UK. When I woke up the next day, I was in London! Later on that day I met up with Raz and Alex! I got huge hugs from both of them. At that point my cold had gotten worse so my excitement was killed by my asthma. We spent the afternoon handing out with each other and catching up. I couldn’t believe how much I missed them even though we picked right back up where we left off.

After a great afternoon with those two, I flew home the next day.

When I got home I jumped back into my regular coaching routine with my sister. Even though I loved my time in the UK, I missed my little sister the most and I’ve spent a lot of my time at home making up for the time I missed with her. We’ve been coaching Jr. Girl’s sports at our local high school together and had a successful volleyball season, and are now on our way to coaching a successful basketball season.

Merry Christmas from the Bowser siblettes!

Merry Christmas from the Bowser siblettes!

Christmas came and went in the Bowser household and I was happy to be home with my family. I was also happy to not have to worry about school for the first time in years. It was also Goliath’s first Christmas with us and he loved opening presents with Thumper.

Then before I knew it…LISA WAS IN BC!

My gremlin was with me so that meant I was back to crouching and slouching for our selfies.

My gremlin was with me so that meant I was back to crouching and slouching for our selfies.

I went down to the coast to visit her and Haylee and I couldn’t believe that it had been 5 months since I’d last seen my shorter half. I arrived on the 4pm bus. As soon as I stepped off the bus I ran to the bathroom because I really had to pee. I also needed to change out of my woolen long sleeve shirt because it was like springtime. When I was done I walked back out into the main area of the bus station and I saw her. My gremlin.

Before I knew it, we were hugging for the first time in forever and I couldn’t have been happier to see. I’d forgotten how tiny she was and…my arms were getting tired. Why were my arms getting tired? Why did Lisa seem taller than she normally did? Normally when we hug she nearly gets smothered by my boobs, but this time her face was at my shoulder level. Was the weirdo wearing heels?

Nope to all of the above.

I didn’t realize it, but I had picked the little weirdo up and was holding her off the ground while we hugged.

Mel, Haylee, Lisa, and I went out for a much needed night of dancing and shenanigans.

Mel, Haylee, Lisa, and I went out for a much needed night of dancing and shenanigans.

After I put her back down, we went off to get food and spend the day hanging out until Haylee got off work. Even though I’d forgotten how small she was, I didn’t forget how easy it was to be around her. Or how much fun Lisa, Haylee and I could have together. Yes, I’ve visited Haylee a few times, but I had missed the three of us being the three of us. One of our friends in the UK said it best about us, “A night with the Turdettes is always a good night.”

Like I said, 2015 was amazing. It started with a bang and ended with a bang. Mostly because my family has the yearly tradition of shooting off our rifles every year at midnight. This was also my third year in a row where I finished my year off taking a poop and started my year off…still taking a poop. I have no idea what 2016 is going to bring about, but if it’s anywhere near as amazing as 2015, I’m in for a great year. But 2016 shouldn’t feel like it needs to compete. If I have a quiet year, I’ll be ok with that as well. 2016 should just be itself and I’ll appreciate it for exactly that.

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Yocumtown, PA – I’m going here

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We all know that I’m a horrible blogger. I have issues with consistency. I think part of that comes from never really knowing what to write and just waiting for inspiration to jump out at me and slap me across the face. I had hoped something would slap me across the fact this week, but it didn’t. Probably because it was too polite and quietly stood in the corner, politely waiting for me to notice it. Except I didn’t because I’m a rude asshole. Instead, I wound up asking my the other two Turdettes what I should write about tonight.

Of course I happened to ask them when we were in the middle of a conversation about Yocumtown…

IMG_6548Haylee said I should Google the town and write a blog about it. So I did. And we continued on to talk about farts. While we discussed farts that echo, I learned that Yocumtown was named after Elijah Yocum and that a man drowned in a spring in that area because he was leaning down to get a drink and fell in.

Naturally I just want to go there and have an orgasm because when I saw the name of the town all I saw was “YO! CUM” and I was all like “That’s a bit creepy and demanding, but ok.” I’ve now decided that when Haylee and I go and visit Lisa (She’s from PA), we’re going to insist that she take us there. Then I’m going to insist that I get some quiet alone time. I don’t know if Haylee will let me have that quiet alone time though. Haylee likes to make me poop with her nearby because it helps me get over being a nervous pooper…

This is basically what Haylee does when she finds out that you're a nervous pooper. She claims to be helping. I think she's just a weird perv.

This is basically what Haylee does when she finds out that you’re a nervous pooper. She claims to be helping. I think she’s just a weird perv.

Unfortunately my friendship with Lisa and Haylee will probably get a little weird when we visit Yocumtown because they’ll both think that I’m pooping or want to poop and will refuse to leave me alone. Except I won’t be pooping. I have plans that I mean to stick to while I visit Yocumtown and nothing will stop me.

Seriously, guys, if we ever go to Yocumtown, I’m going to need like 15 minutes to myself. I may be pooping. I may be masturbating. I’m not sure yet because it would be hard to turn down getting some quiet time to myself to have a nice poop, but it would also be nice to accomplish my now perverted idea. I guess we will have to wait and see or hire a fortune teller and hope that they don’t shiv us in the face and take all of our money. We want to hire a nice fortune teller.

I’m sure Yocumtown is a perfectly lovely place and they’ve probably heard all of the jokes by now. Someday, I’ll visit there and I’m sure that I will give it a very nice review and take a ton of pictures. Again, we will need a fortune teller to know.

I really need to go and start Google searching fortune tellers now. I hope they’re on yelp.

Lions, Essays, and Dance Dares, OH MY!

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Ahhhhh!!!!! Life has been so busy here in Wales! This week I officially handed in the last piece of academic writing of my career as a Bachelor student. I managed to spend a good portion of this paper writing about sex, and orgasms while making South Park references. It’s was such a huge relief to hand it in that I had one of the best poops I’ve had all year and then curled up in bed for a celebratory nap. Now all I have left to do so I can graduate is to finish my creative project, finish a presentation that I’m working on for a conference, and to write one more final. After that…I. Am. Done. Besides school, life has been go go go go go! I can’t believe that I’ve been back in Wales for two months! It feels like I just got here. However, it also feels like I have spent several lifetimes here. Time here in Wales is weird. As a result, here is what I’ve been up to! It’s all in no particular order because I can’t remember what happened first, second or last. It’s all been fun and I’m nothing but extremely grateful and humbled by each new memory I get to create with my Wales family.

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Turd and the Turdettes

I guess to start, I should say that I’ve become a Turdette! One of Josh’s nicknames is Turd and back in February our Student’s Union hosted a Fetish Ball. Rather than dressing up in a kinky manner, Haylee, Lisa and I all borrowed some of Josh’s shirts and made jokes that we had a Turd fetish. That night we became Turd and the Turdettes and the theme has made its way into our day to day lives.

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Haylee dance daring on Josh and his two friends, Billy and Sam.

Now that I’m a Turdette, there are lots of things for me to learn from the other Turdette’s. Like what a DANCE DARE is! I had no idea these things existed until a few weeks ago when the Student’s Union hosted a jungle themed party. That night Lisa, Haylee and I all dressed up a bit. That night I learned a dance dare is when you sneak up on people and dance behind them without them turning around to catch you. We spent all night sneakily dancing behind people and I wish I’d caught more of it on video rather than taking the copious amounts of pictures that I did of Haylee and Lisa getting up to mischief.

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Lisa, Haylee, Sam, and Pumba (Harry) dance daring on Josh.

By the end of the night more people had joined us in doing dance dares and my tummy hurt from laughing so hard. Besides the late night shenanigans, training sessions for basketball and netball, and actually attempting to be good students, we also take some nights to hang out and relax. After practice, Haylee, Josh and I hang out and have movie nights together. This term we’ve managed to get Josh to watch the remake of Footloose and he finally convinced me to watch Up! Haylee has gotten us into watching Orange is the New Black. It’s a great show, except for one yucky part. The other week there was an episode where a guy was talking about what some women do with their placenta and I was so disgusted that I actually puked. A lot. I have no idea why, but just the thought of fried placenta and…I’m happy to say that I made it to the toilet in time. I decided that night that celibacy was a good idea again as well. 10429843_10100443664425893_7255754513948871150_nOur dance dare shenanigans carried on to St. Patrick’s day. We borrowed three of Pumba’s shirts, painted our faces, and went out to sneaky dance the night away. Except our night had to end early because… IMG_1783The next day we had to be on a bus at 9:30am to go play in the Varsity games that my university hosts. Every year the University of Wales has a showdown between its campuses where the sports team play against each other in a day of games. This year, my basketball team was the only team that was invited to compete in the games. We are all excited to be going and competing. Unfortunately we got a late start and Haylee and I got take a walk down memory lane and change into our gear on a bus. If you’ve never tried to change while in a moving vehicle, I don’t recommend that you do. Especially if you’re a girl and there’s boys about. I wound up wiggling into my sports bra and changing shirts while hoping that the boys on our bus didn’t accidentally turn around to look at something. They didn’t and we stepped off the bus ready to play. Except there was a game happening before ours that had just started so our bus change was for nothing. Our game against Carmarthen was great. We got off to a slow start, but eventually found our groove as a team. It was the first basketball game that Pumba had ever played in and he did amazing for someone who is only just learning how to play the game. One of the best parts of the game was watching Haylee and Lisa playing defense together. They made a deadly pair who hassled the other team from tip off to the final whistle. IMG_1782In fact, everyone on our team that day played their hearts out. Though the highlights of the game for me that day were Josh’s passes. Before the game he and I had goofed off for a bit by passing behind the back to each other and I jokingly said that someday I was going to pull a behind the back pass off in a game. And maybe someday I will pull a behind the back pass off. And maybe it will be like the one Josh pulled off that game. Towards the end of the game Haylee popped to an open spot on the court for a shot. I saw it. Josh saw it. Then we all saw Josh shoot his hand behind his back for a beautiful and text book behind the pass that went straight to Haylee. Unfortunately she missed that shot, but the pass was still beautiful. Another beautiful pass that Josh pulled off was when I popped into an open spot under the hoop on our end and he hammered a beautiful bounce pass through a very congested key. I saw him look and and I though “no no no,” but he still pushed the pass through and it bounced and popped perfectly into my hands for an easy two points. Even though Lisa, Haylee, Josh and I are all on the basketball team together, basketball isn’t the only sport we play. Lisa and Haylee are on the netball team with me and these past two weeks Lisa has played in her first netball games and totally rocked out in them. You wouldn’t know that her main sport is football (it’s really soccer) because she’s so at ease on a basketball court. The other week all of us and Pumba all went to our university’s football pitch and we kicked a football around. I learned that my feet are not intelligent at all and there is definitely a reason why I should stick to basketball. I kind of felt like a drunk flailing around with my feet in the air. 11053652_10100441960725123_2237090528513806354_nThough now that I’ve spent some time in Wales, I’m starting to enjoy watching football! I still don’t understand it, but it’s interesting to watch. Especially when Lisa is with me to explain what is going on. The last game we went to was fun to watch because it was such a close game! There were some intense moments. I didn’t realize until I’d watched that game how hard some of the hits could be. There were a few moments were I cringed in pain and was amazed that the player got back up and kept on playing. With all of that said, I still have a lot to write about! This past weekend we went to London! Plus tomorrow I’m leaving Lampeter to head out on my Easter break adventure. Haylee, Charlotte and I are going to PARIS! PARIS! Then after Paris, Haylee and I will carry onto Amsterdam while Charlotte heads back to the UK. After Amsterdam, Haylee and I will spend another couple of days in London (I really love London!) before we come back to our tiny town to settle in and start finishing up our final projects and assignments for the year.