The Last 100 Pages




One of my worst habits is having to finish a book, no matter what, when I get to the last 100 pages. That’s when everything gets exciting! That’s also when my eyes start to hurt because I’m so tired and need to sleep. Except I’m almost done the book so I might as well just finish it so I can do other stuff tomorrow instead of reading the last 100 pages of my book. I’ve already been hooked on the book and it’s like I’m an addict. I need just one more page. Just. One. More. Page.

I don’t know about you, but this is what happens to me:

100 pages left: It’s 2 am and I have to be up at 8 am for work, BUT OH MY GOSH! I CAN I CANNOT BELIEVE WHAT IS HAPPENING! I only have 100 pages left in this book. I’m a fast reader. I can finish the book in under an hour and still get five hours of sleep. I’ve survived on less sleep. Yeah, let’s let finish the book.

80 pages left: It’s now 2:15am, give or take a few minutes. Everything is so exciting! My heart is racing! I need to see what happens next. Except I just want to close my eyes for a few minutes then I’ll finish the book. No! Stay awake and finish the book! The main character is about to do something amazing!

60 pages left: Everything is a whirlwind! I’m gobbling the words up. It’s maybe 2:30am. I’m definitely finishing the book. My eyes are so tired that I’ve had to put my glasses on so that the words will stop dancing around like the drunk ballerinas.

40 pages left: AHHHH!!! I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING! I TOTALLY DIDN’T SEE THAT COMING! I LOVE THIS BOOK! Uh oh, it’s almost 3am. Focus. Must. Finish. The. Book.

20 pages left: OMG! OMG! OMG! I can’t think! I’m so tired, but this book is so good!

The Last Page: Frick. Now what am I going to read? I’m not tired at all. HEEEELLLLLOOOO, second wind. Oh damn. It’s almost 3:30am and I have to be up at 8am! Ok! Ok! Sleep. Sleeeeeeep. What a good book! Let’s think about it for ten minutes first and plan out everything I’m going to say about the book to people in the morning. If I’m asleep by 4 I’ll totally be able to function in the morning.

Morning alarm goes off: Blaaaaahhhhh! I hate the world! Why me? I need just 15 more minutes. Yeah. I won’t do my hair or make up today. Messy bun and yoga pants for all! Zzzzzzzzz. 



The Reading List


StephenKing-ChristineSomething that I want to do this year is to diversify what I read. Normally if I get any spare time I curl up with something having to do with paranormal romance and read it cover to cover in one sitting. It’s great. It’s like meditating except with lots and lots of words and a story to focus on. If I’m not reading something romantical then I’m reading something like what Hunter S. Thompson writes, or I’m rereading “John Dies at the End” by David Wong. And maybe sometimes I actually read my required readings for school, if I think that it’s actually relevant for doing well in the course.

So this year, I’m trying to read “other stuff”. I’m not sure what that other stuff is, so I’m going to start with some picks from The Rory Gilmore Reading Challenge. Then I’ll toss in a book or two that I think are worth reading again. Then…maybe I’ll just read the Harry Potter Series again because I haven’t read that series in over a year. After that, maybe I should read a cooking book so I can practice not setting fire to my home and food.

With all that said, this is my list so far:

  1. Gone with the Wind by Margaret Mitchell – I’ve seen the movie a thousand times, maybe I should read the book?
  2. Please Kill Me: The Uncensored Oral History of Punk by Legs McNeil – It looks like it could be interesting. Hopefully.
  3. Christine by Stephen King – I’ve always wanted to read this one, but have never gotten around to it
  4. Europe Through the Back Door by Rick Steves – Heh. Dirty.
  5. The Last Living Slut by Roxana Shirazi – It was good the first time around, so why not read it again?
  6. The Little Black Apron: A Single Girl’s Guide to Cooking with Style and Grace by Jodi Citrin – It might help me stop setting pancakes on fire.
  7. Ignited by Kaylea Cross – She’s Canadian and and I want to read something Canadian and while this isn’t out of my usual reading habits, she’s a new author. So this book is on the list.
  8. Vigilante by Claude Bouchard – He’s Canadian too! And I normally wouldn’t read what he writes, so he’s on the list too!

That’s it. My goal is to read 12 books, so I’m open to recommendations. I figure if I can read a book a month along with my usual reads, then maybe I’ll come out the other end a better read person. Or maybe I’ll just have read some books I’d never normally read and would never read again. At least…I’m trying?

Anyway! Do you have any recommendations? Feel free to recommend away! (Thank you in advance!)

Greeting 2014 From My Toilet

Starting the new year off on the right foot...and on the toilet

Starting the new year off on the right foot…and on the toilet

I probably shouldn’t be amused by the fact that I ended 2013 pooping and started 2014 pooping, but I am.  In my family my dad and whoever else is around, usually my sister, shoot off guns right at midnight to bang in the new year. It felt like I was getting an awesome gun salute as I happily evacuated my bowels.  It’s something that I’ve never done before and hot damn if it shouldn’t be a totally awesome tradition. Except I don’t know if I’ll have to poo at the very end of this year, so I guess I’ll have to wait and see if the tradition carries on. If not, I always remember 2014 as the year I started off with a poop and some bangs outside.

So why was I inside while everyone was outside?

The simple answer is this: I always am during our New Year shenanigans. I used to be terrified of guns (that fear is more or less gone), but I’m just mostly terrified of fireworks. Every time that I’ve been near them, they’ve chased me and it has sucked. I’d rather stay inside with my own New Year traditions like pooping, or reading, like I normally do every year around the time everyone has to hang a new calendar on the wall. This year I was reading “Alice in Wonderland” before I went to take my poop and snap a picture of me starting my New Year “on the right foot.”

Do I have any thoughts now that 2013 has ended?


Yeah, I mostly happy that I didn’t kill myself this year. 2013 was the year that I set out to teach myself how to cook. And I sort of accomplished that. Yes, I set fire to several pancakes, started two fires in my oven, and burnt rice more times than I care to count, but I’m almost proud to say that I know how to cook some things now. And, ok, I gave myself food poisoning once too. However, the point is that despite the fires, the burnt food, the cookies that you had to dip in milk for several minutes to be able to eat, the fact that I poisoned myself, and the fact that I sometimes forget that I’m allergic to soy, I can now cook several healthy meals for myself. And I am incredibly thankful that I have a mom that makes and freezes food for me that easily heat up on my own because without her I would be forever living off Ramen noodles and Kraft Dinner. Thanks  to her I only have to eat that stuff once or twice a week!

And with the end of 2013 and the beginning of 2014, I’m laying in bed typing this post out and I’m wondering if I have any resolutions. I don’t. Mostly I just really don’t want to get food poisoning again. Except I won’t make that a resolution because if I do poison myself again, the last thing I want to think about while I’m living on a toilet is the fact that I couldn’t keep the one resolution that I made. I’m going to try that “post a day” thing again this year and this time I’m really going to try and keep that going. I’m determined to make it work, but at the same time…I try not to cross and burn any bridges until I’ve actually crossed them so uhm..

Cheers to 2013 and hello to 2014.

Why I Buy Books


Why do I buy books? Sure there are a few books that I own as e-book and I love having lots of my favorite novels ready to read and always at my finger tips because they’re on my phone…but there are just so many amazing reasons why going to a book store should never die out. Here are my top 5 reasons why I’ll always buy books from the book stores:

5. Used books stores are some of the most magical places to visit – I remember when I was in New Orleans for Mardi Gras and I went into this second hand book store. And there were books stacked everywhere. There was a rolling ladder attached to a wall full of books. Books were stacked on the ground, on chairs and jammed into every available bit of shelf space that there was. It was freaking magical and I can say that because I was neither high nor drunk for this experience. And the best used book stores are like this. If these die out, I’m sure the world will die too.

4. My smutty romance novels should have all the steamy parts dog-eared – Not lying. I’m just saying. That’s how it should go.

3. I need something to do when the power goes out or I get stuck in the middle of no where – I can remember this horrifying Greyhound bus trip where we were stuck on this snowy highway for like and hour and a half because a storm had blown through and covered the highways in several feet of snow. But I was ok. Do you know why? Because not only did I have copious amounts of homework to keep me busy, but because I had a good book to read even though my mp3 player and phone were dead.

2. I can highlight, dog-ear and write in the columns of my book all I want – I’ve tried doing this with my eReader apps on my phone and iPod but it’s just freaking annoying. I should be able to curl up with a good and thought provoking book, highlighter and pens at the ready and be able to jot things down, mark pages up and dog ear entire chapters at my will…instead of fighting with my app so I can make a three word comment on a paragraph.

1. It’s better than buying drugs – I mean, I save a lot of money buying books electronically. Almost 50% on every book actually. So for every $10 book I buy online, I save $5. That adds up after a while. What would I do with that kind of money? It sounds like  a gateway habit for harder things like snorting Pixie Sticks and getting hopped up on pain killers. Or whatever it is kids my age do these days. I mean from what I can tell, everything is a gateway for harder stuff like shooting up crytalized Moon Shine. So world, YOU’RE WELCOME. I am one more person in this world doing their part to not do drugs. Sort of. Maybe. Whatever. The point is, I’d rather spend my money on books than anything else and that’s great.