I was text messaging with a friend while I was at work today and she was complaining about her current boyfriend and how he never does anything romantic for her. I decided to play Devil’s Advocate and asked her if he was doing things for her that he might consider romantic, but she might miss entirely. Which I immediately got in trouble for because “Girl Code” dictates that I am to immediately take her side in all things, no matter what.
It prompted this conversation:
Her: What would you consider a romantic gesture?
Me: A man who wants to mingle his books with mine.
Her: Ex-squeeze me?
Me: You know, the commingling of books.
Her: That’s not romantic. That’s just…books.
Me: I should wash your mouth out with soap! Take that back!
Her: What?! Why?!
Me: The commingling of books, in my opinion, is about the best way that any man can show me that he loves me. It’s like this super sweet way for a man to blend his life with mine as we properly sort our books out together on the many many shelves that we’ll have. Also, books are never just books. They’re precious fountains of adventure, life, and infinite possibilities and hope. To insult books so blatantly is to wish for someone to drive an ugly nail through an ignorance stick and beat you with it.
Her: Ok. That’s weird. Everything you just said. In a text message. Did you really type all of that?
Me: You clearly do not have a romantic bone in your body.
Her: I have no bones in my body. No romance, no sexy tiems!
Me: Mingle your books! I’m tellin’ ya, it’s gotta be about the sexiest thing ever.
Her: I’m going to talk to someone less obsessed with books.
Me: That’s your choice. My books give me all the romance I need right now. And when I’m ready for more I’ll find me a man that wants to put his books on the same shelving as mine.
Then she stopped messaging me. I felt bad for not being helpful, but she asked a question and I gave an honest answer. What would you consider a romantic gesture?