Vicks On My Feet

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I’ve seen this Vicks VapoRub trick floating around on my Facebook feed for a while now. Normally I wouldn’t put much stock into it, except last night I got desperate. The last few nights I’ve gotten next to no sleep because I wake up coughing and hacking. And usually I have to hack something up, like a giant gob of booger that’s lodged in my throat. Couple this cough with my asthma that flares up like that happy man who doesn’t have a banana in his pocket whenever I have a cold, I cough a lot. And I cough hard. If there were an Olympics for how much and how hard I cough, I probably wouldn’t even make it onto the Canadian team, but I would for surely think I have a chance at making it on that team.

I cough so hard that I woke up with sore muscles from coughing.

I cough so hard that if I almost pee myself.

I cough so hard that I accidentally slammed my head off my shower wall this morning.

True story.

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Like I said, I was desperate for a little bit of sleep and for the coughing to stop. So I remembered seeing this trick and I decided to try it. My momma also told me to sleep in a somewhat sitting up position. I figured I would try both and hope that one or both would help me sleep.

I have to say, slathering Vicks all over my feet felt kind of nice. It was soothing. The smell from the stuff also wafted up to my nose and breathing the fumes helped me breathe a little easier. Then it just felt really weird when I pulled my socks on. It was squishy and felt like all of those times I got wet shoes and walked around making squishing noises. But it was nice. The vapors continued to make their way up my nose holes and I continued to breathe a little easier. As I reclined back on the mountain of blankets and pillows I had set up to help me sit up, I had to giggle at the fact that I was breathing my own feet fumes.

Then I started coughing because I giggled a little bit too hard.

Comfortable, I popped two of those nighttime sick pills you can buy in any drug aisle and settled back to watch an episode of “Bones”. I’m really loving that show and have been watching it every chance I get. I also did a little research on the Vicks on your feet topic and found all sorts of boring and non-conclusive articles. They mostly say the same thing. No scientific proof has been given to prove that this works. Which also means that no scientific proof has been given to prove that it doesn’t work. Honestly, I paid more attention to my show than I did the articles. I knew I was going to have my opinions in the morning.

After one night with the stuff on my feet, these are my results:

  • It smells nice. Globbing the stuff on thickly turned my socked up feet into two vaporizers. Well, sort of. My feet fumes drifted up my nose holes and let me breath a little easier as I drifted off to sleep. The fumes were still there when I woke up a couple hours later to shift into a more comfortable position.
  • I still coughed, but not as much as I have been coughing. I definitely wasn’t coughing so hard that I would be the next poster child for women’s depends. I don’t know if this was due to sitting up or because I had globbed Vicks all over my feet. Maybe both. Though I’m betting sitting up while I slept played a huge role in this. My momma knows best.
  • It left my feet really smooth this morning, but slippery in the shower. Not only did I cough so hard that I nearly concussed myself, but I almost slipped and concussed myself as well.
  • This is why I shouldn’t be left unsupervised.
  • When I try this trick again, I will be more careful about the perils of showering with Vicksy feet.
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