True Confessions of a Twenty-Something Me


Lots of people have told me it’s impossible to kill a cactus. They’re wrong.

I am five days into this whole, post a day thing and I’m finding it hard to think of things that are interesting to write. Maybe once classes start up tomorrow I’ll have some shenanigans to blog about, but in the meantime, I’m stumped. So rather than forcing myself to settle in and write a good quality post, I watched a couple episodes of “Bones” on Netflix, played “Dungeons and Dragons Online” and caught myself up on some of my favourite blogs.

Which is where I found this. It’s some confessions from The Bloggess and it seems like a good idea. I’ve got next to zilch for resolutions, but I sure as shit got some stuff I can confess to. So here you go!

My 2014 Confessions:

  1. I don’t know how to properly use colons or semi-colons. Though I do like to abuse the colon as it suits me. Heh. Abused colon.
  2. When I had food poisoning last summer I puked up a whole noodle that tried to come out my nose. Without even thinking I snorted it back up my nose and swallowed. I’m rather disgusted by myself over doing this and I’m gagging a little bit just thinking about it.
  3. I’ve already put this on Facebook, but it’s worth mentioning again: The other week I farted while I was reading in bed. It smelled so bad that my dog, who was sleeping beside me, woke up and barked at my butt. Then she promptly left my room.
  4. Whenever I’m reading or writing, I pronounce the words in my head phonetically. Even if it’s the incorrect pronunciation.
  5. I have owned three plant-like things in my life. A cactus, a bamboo stick, and an orchid. All three have died within a year of them coming home to live with me.
  6. When I was younger I didn’t take a container out of my bag right away and it had a watermelon seed in it. That container was in my bag for such a long time that the watermelon seed grew a little green sprout out of it. I sometimes try to do that again, just to see if I can. This is why I lose at least one container a summer because it never works out that way and then I just end up with a smelly container.
  7. When I pull Biore nose strips off my nose I spend countless minutes obsessing over what I pulled out. It’s just weirdly satisfying seeing all that stuff that this little strip manages to yank out.

Writing these has made me realize I’m kind of a disgusting human being. I’ve also realized that I’m at peace with that fact. As long as I don’t smell bad in public, it’s ok right? RIGHT?!


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