The Cartoon Me

Standard

If+you+are+a+cartoon+character_4bb967_4131495

 

This is going to be a ridiculous cartoon because I’m currently wearing a black bed sheet toga style. It’s not even a good toga. It’s a bad toga that keeps falling off. So this cartoon is going to be full of wardrobe malfunctions and lots of black censor bars. My hair is also a crazy and frizzled up mess…

A part of me thinks that this cartoon that I’d be in would be a really awkward version of the Cathy cartoons. Except I like to steal lawn gnomes.

Hmmm…uh oh?

Standard

541221_128801413973479_1716199692_n

 

This seems like a good question to answer since I took a break from playing Dungeons & Dragons Online to make sure that I got my daily post posted. In DDO, I’m the main character. I’m currently in the process of leveling an air savant sorcerer. This means that I basically specialize in shooting electricity and bursts of sonic beams out of my hands. My character is also a warforged so it’s made out of stone and wood and is like a steam punky robot type thing.

So how fucked am I?

I think I’m pretty fucked. My character electrocutes anything that it can attack without hesitation. Well, I should say that I like to electrocute stuff without hesitation. Anyway, my character is pretty good at zapping things. It’s like Zeus resides in my palms and loves to toss his lightning bolts out of them and straight into the faces of my enemies.

I think I’m pretty fucked. I’m not resistant to being shot in the face with lightning and my character this life has a level of rogue and is pretty damn sneaky. So if my sorcerer pops out of nowhere with the intent to kill me, I’m pretty much dead. And sadly if I try to run, I’ll probably just die out of breath.

On the other hand, if the last game I played was Terrarria, I think I’m pretty safe. My character is currently set up to look like a bunny. Who wears a top hat. And swings a great sword. I’d want to capture and pet that character.

That’s So Clichéd

Standard

While I was making dinner tonight I got a phone call from a guy that I went on a date with about a year and a half ago. It was a really bad date and neither of us bothered to call the other back, but I forgot to delete his number out of my phone so I was really surprised to see his name popped up. I was also really suspicious. During our date I suspected that he was the sort of guy that would kick kittens for dollars. So I was really weary of my conversation with him.

It actually was a very nice conversation despite the fact that it was also kind of awkward. It was that sort of conversation where you don’t know how to break the ice so you just kind of awkwardly jump around on it and look for a crack that you can break through to get things going. In this case it meant that he and I kind of asked random questions back and forth for fifteen minutes while I made pancakes.

No I didn’t set them on fire. They were rather tasty.

The conversation was kind of nice too. Or it was until he asked me if I could go anywhere in the world right now, where would I go?

He said it in a flirty way and I think he was hoping I’d say something slutty like “into your pants party where everyone is coming”, but that wasn’t how things went down for him.

eiffel_tower_at_night_paris_france-normalMe: I would go to Paris.

Him: Paris.

Me: Yes. Paris. Right below the Eiffel Tower.

Him: That’s so clichéd. Don’t you think?

Me: Yes, but I think your poor attempt at a booty call is clichéd as well.

Him: Pardon?

Me: Dude, we had a bad first date, and we haven’t spoken in like a year and a half. This is either a booty call or you want to find out where I hide my cat so you can kick her. And let me tell you, mister, if you try to kick my cat I will kick you square in the wiener.

Him: What?!

Me: Don’t “what?!” me! You’re the one being unreasonable in your demand for my booty or my cat to kick.

Him: I don’t want to kick your cat!

Me: Then why did you call?!

Him: Well, I uh…I, umm…

Me: So you do want to kick my cat don’t you?! I hope you know she is on an island surrounded by sharks with lasers on their heads who would rather die than let her be kicked. I love my Chicken Little!

Him: I think I should let you go.

Me: I think so too. I need to check on those sharks to make sure they haven’t lasered each other to death.

Then I hung up and sat on my kitchen floor and laughed and laughed and laughed. After I laughed so much that I nearly had an asthma attack, I enjoyed my perfectly made pancakes while I watched “The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh”.

A Romantic Gesture

Standard

I was text messaging with a friend while I was at work today and she was complaining about her current boyfriend and how he never does anything romantic for her. I decided to play Devil’s Advocate and asked her if he was doing things for her that he might consider romantic, but she might miss entirely. Which I immediately got in trouble for because “Girl Code” dictates that I am to immediately take her side in all things, no matter what.

It prompted this conversation:

Her: What would you consider a romantic gesture?

Me: A man who wants to mingle his books with mine.

Her: Ex-squeeze me?

Me: You know, the commingling of books.

Her: That’s not romantic. That’s just…books.

Me: I should wash your mouth out with soap! Take that back!

Her: What?! Why?!

Me: The commingling of books, in my opinion, is about the best way that any man can show me that he loves me. It’s like this super sweet way for a man to blend his life with mine as we properly sort our books out together on the many many shelves that we’ll have. Also, books are never just books. They’re precious fountains of adventure, life, and infinite possibilities and hope. To insult books so blatantly is to wish for someone to drive an ugly nail through an ignorance stick and beat you with it.

Her: Ok. That’s weird.  Everything you just said. In a text message. Did you really type all of that?

Me: You clearly do not have a romantic bone in your body.

Her: I have no bones in my body. No romance, no sexy tiems!

Me: Mingle your books! I’m tellin’ ya, it’s gotta be about the sexiest thing ever.

Her: I’m going to talk to someone less obsessed with books.

Me: That’s your choice. My books give me all the romance I need right now. And when I’m ready for more I’ll find me a man that wants to put his books on the same shelving as mine.

Then she stopped messaging me. I felt bad for not being helpful, but she asked a question and I gave an honest answer. What would you consider a romantic gesture?

What are you doing?

Standard

Today I was supposed to meet up with a friend to go for a walk, but she wound up being nearly 15 minutes late. So out of boredom I collected a pile of rocks and started throwing them against the school wall I was meeting my friend at. She found me tossing rocks against a wall.

Her: What are you doing?

Me: Playing catch with my shadow.

Her: Excuse me?

Me: Exactly that. I’m playing catch with my shadow.

Her: But how?

Me: Like this!

And then I threw another rock against the wall. It bounced a few feet off the wall before it landed and bounce around on the ground a few times. My friend gave me that look people give other people when they think they’re crazy. It’s that look where the person has raised eyebrows, eyes wondering what’s wrong with you, and they’re  leaning away slightly.

Me: Don’t look at me like that. My shadow is clearly not the athlete that I am.

Her: Sometimes I wonder why people let you outside unsupervised.

Me: Probably because I’m more likely to start fires indoors than I am outdoors. It’s very damp out here.

Her: Girl, you have issues.

Me: Yes, but that’s the nice thing about my shadow. I can work those issues out with her by playing catch. I can throw things at it as hard as I can and she never complains.

Her: Throw things at her?

Me: Yes. I call her Pavlovia.

Her: Let’s just go get coffee.

Me: Ok, but let me just finish this round of rocks off.

 

Agony!

Standard

I’m on this continual goal to lose weight. So every day I try to do something to be a little bit healthier and I try to stick to my overall health goals. Some days I fail, some days I do exceedingly well. Other days are just days, and I find that acceptable. Today wasn’t an acceptable day. It wasn’t a fail day either. Today, in regards to my health and weight loss goals, today was an amazing day.

Why?

Well, today was great because I got to play netball. I started playing 10 years ago (almost to the day) and I’ve loved it more and more with each passing year.

Sadly, every year I forget that netball requires me to use a set of muscles that I don’t use very often in any other sport. I don’t know why, but at the end of a netball match, I have all these little muscles that I’m rarely aware of screaming at me to stop what I’m doing because they aren’t used to getting worked over like they are.

So, I’m in sore muscle agony right now. Even after an ice bath, a hot bath, stretching, and an ice shower and hot shower I’m still sore! I’m not walking like a little old lady, but I can feel all of those muscle bits engaging as I move around. And they hate me. You would think that I would learn or try to keep those muscles engaged daily so they don’t hate me when netball time rolls around, but for whatever reason, playing netball is the only thing that gets those particular muscles going.

As a result, my new health goal is to try and fit more time into my week to do netball stuff on my own. I’d really like to be on good terms with those muscles instead of them screaming at me every time I move.

Cutting it close!

Standard

Ahhh! I’m cutting my daily post to being almost not a daily post!

Obviously I don’t have anything serious to write about, nor have I thought of anything to write about today. So now I’m typing while I think in the hopes that I will think of something to write so I can make my daily post.

Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh!

83dc4bf1a54292eee8df55d9d21ada4b

 

Meet my new favourite Starbucks drink! I saw this picture while I was clicking around on the internet so I decided to try it today when I went to the library. And it was like heaven in a cup. It as seriously like a liquefied cupcake in a cup. I actually had to sit down so I could dissect how incredibly happy this drink made me.

What’s your favourite Starbucks or coffee place drink?