My phone rang just past 3:30am. Seriously, what the frick? There aren’t many people in the world who will do that and it’s rare that they call at this sort of hour so I was confused. Plus I’d been asleep for a bit so I was fully confused and pissed off. Who calls at this hour? Well, as it turns out, it was a friend who I haven’t spoken to in over a year. Why, you ask? Well because about a year ago we made plans to go out for coffee and she didn’t show up and didn’t call to apologize for a week. So we made more plans and she stood me up again. She called and said she was sorry the day after, but didn’t give me a reason why she left me hanging. So fuck that game right? Right. I stopped calling her, stopped answering her texts and didn’t answer her phone calls for a month. Then we kind of briefly texted and more or less stopped talking.
It sounds immature and I realize that a lot of people in my life are doing that “growing up” thing where they have familes, kids and mortgages, but if you make plans then act like a considerate human being about those plans. If you bail on me at the last minuet, that’s ok. I get that stuff comes up. I’m actually a super understanding person once you get past my love for profanity, fear of midgets, and anger towards the fact that only Asian people almost run me over.
Anyway, The Stand Me Up Friend called me about half an hour ago or so to have this conversation with me:
Me: Whoever this is, you better be dying. Her: Rai? Is that you?
Me: Who is this and why don’t you sound like you’re dying?
Her: It’s The Stand Me Up Friend. I need a huge favor.
Her: Rai! Help me out here! I need you!
Me: Wiggle with it.
Me: Wiggle with it.
Her: What are you talking about.
Me: If you can’t recognize the lyrics to “Get Low” then you should delete me off your phone.
I seriously couldn’t have planned that conversation any better. I was really going to say something along the lines of “Stop calling me only when you need something because that irritates the living hell out of me”, but the moment she said “Yeah?” I knew what I had to do. You’re welcome. I know I’m still giggling about it.
Anyway, as it turns out, she’d gone into labour a month early and that blew all of her “Going Into Labour Plans” all to hell. She was en route to the hospital and needed me to baby-sit her 3-year-old son (who I absolutely do not like – I mean, kids are ok sometimes, but this kid is a horrible turd nugget and I’d rather pluck my armpit hairs than be left alone with him ever). As in, she expected me to take a cab all the way to the hospital where she was delivering, pick her son up and cab all the way to the townhouse she lived in with her husband out in North Vancouver.
I said no and congratulated her on her pending bundle of joy.
Mostly I’m only writing this now because of the fact that I worked one of my all time favorite songs lyrics into a conversation and the other participant was totally unaware of what was going on. It more or less made me feel like a genius with a capital “J”.