Today after work I decided to take a little bit of a nap. As I was drifting off to sleep I noticed that I had to poop. So I asked my lazy self, Do I really need to poop now? And I answered myself, No, I do not need to poop right now. So I curled up in bed and let myself drift off to sleep. I don’t know why, but in that moment closing my eyes was glorious and I was drooling even before I was fully asleep.
It wasn’t even 10 minuets later that I woke up with a start and thought to my self OH NO! OH NO NO NO NO! because I really really had to poop. Bad. So then I lay there in bed, drool still wet on my cheek and just felt the gas building up in my tummy. And it hurt. I not only needed to poop bad, but I also needed to fart. Oh but I knew that this fart would be dangerous, so I pinched it off with all the strength I had in my butt cheeks, colon and all my other body parts and I asked myself…
CAN I MAKE IT TO THE BATHROOM?
I lay there for a second and debated the alternatives. I could either shit myself, or I could ask my mom to bring me a bucket or something. It really wasn’t much of a choice so I scrambled up off my bed and bolted out into the hallway, slamming my door behind me to keep my kitten in my room and I started to waddle like a penguin who needed to poop real bad and was holding something between its butt cheeks. The moment I started to really move, I felt everything shift and I almost exploded there in my hallway.
But don’t worry, I totally made it to the toilet and I exploded in the proper poop receptacle.
What’s your worst “I tried to hold my poop” story?