Yesterday I went into town with my mom (remember during the summers I live in a rural area about an hours drive from the nearest city) for her eye doctor’s appointment. The plan was for me to drop her off and then I could go do my own thing for half an hour or so. And that’s how things went down except for the fact that she was about 15 minuets late for her appointment. However, I got to go off and do my own thing still which was nice because I had a hella craving for a Starbucks frappacino. A venti Mocha Cookie Crumble frap with 2 pumps on peppermint to be exact. Which is exactly what I got.
That took me all of 5 minuets to get, so I pulled over to Tim Horton’s and got my mom an Ice Cap and my dad some Tim Bits.
I had time to chill so I figured I’d drive down to my moms eye doctor, park and read a little bit.
Or at least that was the plan until I pulled up next to a couple of black guys in a black Mercedes blasting Lil Jon. I didn’t feel like listening to Lil Jon at that particular moment so I flipped through my music and tried to find the most obnoxious song I could think of to make these guys listen to. At first I thought “I Kissed A Girl” by Katy Perry. Then I thought something by the Spice Girls. Then as I scrolled by it on my songs list I knew what I had to play for these guys…
Just before the song started, I turned my car up loud enough that I knew they’d hear it and then it started…JITTER BUG *snap snap* JITTER BUG *snap snap*. They heard it and both looked over at me. It was sunny, their windows were down, they had on some gaudy gold chains, giant aviators and white wife beater tank tops. I waited for their confused stares and stuck my tongue out at them and proceeded to rock out in my car Carlton Banks style until the light turned green.
At which point I followed them to the night light and they turned their music up. At this point they had these indulgent smiles on their faces like they were mentally saying Silly girl, you can’t roll with us. We’re better’n you. I was having none of it so I turned the volume up to my WHAM! a little bit more so I knew they could hear it. Then the passenger have me this WTF MATE?! look, leaned over and blasted the volume on his crap rap (I love Lil Jon, but on a rap scale, it’s not the greatest).
Now, I don’t play poker, but I’m pretty sure in the poker world you’re not supposed to show your entire hand before you have a good idea of what the other player is holding.
So I turned my volume up just enough to barely drown out the random “YEAH” screams, Lil Jon style. Then I let them pull a head of me and I pulled in behind them. These were the kind of guys you could tell rolled slowly, trolling for shorty’s to holla at and would never really speed in their car. Just as I pulled up behind them, I started my song over again…JITTER BUG *snap snap* JITTER BUG *snap snap*.
And turned my speakers up as loud as they could go. I knew they could hear me because I couldn’t hear them at all and the passenger turned around to give me a really disgruntled look because I was making him listen to WHAM! Then I proceeded to sip on my Venti Mocha Cookie Crumble with two pumps of peppermint and chocolate whipped cream while I followed them around like the plague…only I’m much cuter than the plague and I’m not deadly, nor do I effect as many people as a plague does. It was just me, my frappacino and WHAM! for all of 15 minuets following behind these guys who actually drove below the speed limit the entire time and never broke a single law.
When I realized the time and had gotten bored of dancing and singing WAKE ME UP BEFORE YOU GO GO! I pulled out from behind them, rolled up next to them, smiled a sassy smile, waved a sassy wave and drove off to pick my mom up from her appointment. All in all, it was good times in the car and those guys are probably still singing WHAM! because that song is freaking catchy and easy to sing along to…