Buckle Up For Safety, MoFo!


Pretty much as soon as I turned 16, I got my Learner’s Permit to drive. I say “pretty much” because when I wrote the test on my actual birthday I failed the test by one answer. I mean in the real world I would have gotten a C for my answers, but they wanted higher than that so I had to return the next day to ace that thing. For those of you who live in British Columbia, remember the old “L” driver rules right? You get your “L” and you keep it for 6 months before you can write your “New” driver’s test and get an “N” license. Then after that the rules got changed.


The rules changed in October. That summer my town and lots of other places wound up on fire, burnt down or almost on fire because all the other places burnt down. They call it Fire Storm 2003. Anyway, I was able to write my “N” test in August, but well…shit was burning down, yo! So I couldn’t. Then I failed my test in September which means that I wrote and passed my “N” test in October and wound up falling under the new “New” driver rules. Which meant that I could only have one passenger at a time and some other shenanigans that I didn’t matter because I never planned to drive drunk or anything else that broke those rules.

It was the “one passenger only” rule that I broke…a lot. Part of the rule was that I could have more than one passenger if one of the passengers was a family member or they were all family or something like that, but that doesn’t really matter because I broke the rule all the time. Except for when me and my sister went cruising. After I could drive on my own it was rare for me to be driving with my parents in the car because I’m pretty sure I traumatized them into never wanting to cruise with their daughters again.

That was fine. Me and my sister loved to cruise together.

In fact when she came of age where she should have gotten her Learners Permit and didn’t I started to let her drive my car sometimes. By that I mean we’d be cruising down the highway and I’d let her steer the car for whatever reason I needed her to steer the car. And she was great at it and possibly a better driver than me despite being in the passenger seat. In fact she got so good at it that mom even let her steer sometimes when she was in the front seat.

But despite the crazed lunacy that required my sibling wingman of mayhem to drive my car that was doing 120km/h along the highway, she is not a crazy driver. In fact she is a better driver than me. She’s all about safety, responsibility and not doing incredibly stupid things like letting her sibling steer the car from the passenger seat. So much so that that yeah, I let her drive my car sometimes.

The first time I let her drive, I pulled over beside a cattle guard that was right after the paved road turned to a dirt road (letting you know that you are now on a reserve, of course) and was about 2km away from home. We switched seats and giggling my sister got behind the wheel of my silver Saturn SC1, gripped the steering wheel in both hands before looking at me with a crazed gleam in her eye and said…

“Buckle up for safety, mother fucker.”

This is where I should she that Tiffany peeled out of where we were parked and made my car go from 0 to 60 miles per hour in six seconds and crashed us in a saskatoon bush, but that’s not how it went. Instead we buckled up, I told her to check her mirrors, turn her signal light on, check her blind spots and pull out onto our old dirt road to drive us home.

She still had that crazy gleam in her eye and she giggled in glee almost the whole way home…while doing 15km/hour the entire way.



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