One of the things that’s been on my mind lately is the idea of loving more than one person and being a relationship with more than one person. I want to use the word polyamory, but my spell check flags it as being spelled wrong so I’m not sure if I’m spelling it right. One of my quirks is that I don’t like using words that I’m not sure how to spell. Anyway! I’ve been thinking about the act of loving/being in a relationship with more than one person. Mostly I’m just wondering “why not?”
Why can’t I love more than one person at once? I love my friends and there are many of them. I definitely don’t love them equally and I for sure don’t love them the same, but I still love them. I honestly don’t see why this concept can’t be applied to a loverly relationship. I get that people love monogamy and love finding their one, but for me I I know that I love my friends in different ways for different reasons, so somewhere in the back of my mind I think that I should be able to apply this to people I view “romantically.”
Let’s start with the first guy that I ever fell in love with: I was 18 and he forced me to face these weird romantic love feelings where you don’t love a person like you love your family and you don’t love them like you love your friends but you love them in a sense that you want to be with them on a deeper level. It was a scary process, but he made love fun, sweet and heart poundingly amazing. Eventually we both grew up and grew a part but there will always be a part of me that loves him for who he is. That and he’s sometimes the measuring stick I use to decide if a guy is worth my time. Now let’s skip down the road two years to my 20 year old self who fell in love with a Southern man. He was charming, sexual, intense, borderline psychotic, supportive and an inspiration and the drive behind a lot of my writing. Now let’s say that I fell in love with both of these guys around the same time. Why couldn’t I balance two healthy relationships with them? That is: If we were all consenting adults, why not?
I’ll admit that I am a total romantic at heart and love reading smutty romance novels, but when I read those novels and the woman is forced to choose between her romantic interests I always wonder why not both? I love the idea that two people in all the entire world can find each other and have that love that lasts through the ages, but is it for me? Maybe. I doubt it, so I stop to wonder every now and again, why does there have to be just one? Why not more?