Day 5.1 – The Undie Mystery


In my current domicile that I refer to as my “Hobo Hole” I don’t have a washer and dryer. So I have to go to a laundry at a laundromat down the street from me. I’m ok with that because going to do laundry once a week means I can take a break from the real world. In my opinion being in a laundromat is like being separate from the rest of the world and I like that. I never take my homework with me and will usually just take a good book or a journal with me to keep me occupied while I clean my dirty deeds.

Laundry costs me $5 to drop it off with the laundry lady who will wash, dry, fold and bag all of my laundry. She also makes sure that nothing shrinks, bleeds or goes overly wrong with my clothes while they’re washing. This lady is a tiny Asian woman and you couldn’t meet a nicer lady who not only is friendly, but she makes doing laundry feel like you’re the most welcome person in the world. She makes her laundromat feel very homey. But because I’m cheap and like to take my breaks from the world, I spend $3 doing my laundry and wash, dry, fold and bag all of my own laundry. This means that I don’t sort anything, turned one of my sports bras a pale pink because I washed it with a bright red brand new thong whose colour bled.

A bright red thong that disappeared the very next week while doing laundry. This was coupled with a couple of other pairs of my undies that had disappeared over the semester. I went from having 14 pairs of underwear down to having 5. I’m pretty sure that every week at least one pair of my gonchies went missing and I had no idea where they were going. I cleaned my room in the hopes of finding them in some obscure location and came up with nothing but some socks. I asked the laundry lady if she had a lost and found for this sort of thing and was treated to seeing several pairs of peoples underwear…but none of them were mine.

I couldn’t help but as “WTF mate?” as my supply of underwear dwindled and I wound up planning out which two days of the week that I’d be going commando. It wasn’t a big deal for me since I used to run around commando all of the time, but undies make me feel pretty so I wear undies. Plus they’re fun because they’re my own secret for the day.

My undies usually look something like this...

My undies usually look something like this...

Now, I love my undies. Like I said, they’re like having my own little secret for the day. However, I also know that my underwear is often more a triangle held together by some string than anything. I have legitimately used one of my thongs in the past as a shoelace on my rugby boot when one of my laces broke on me. Of course I never wore that thong again, but my point is my underwear is more string and decoration than actual clothing.

The point I’m trying to make is that my underwear is string-like  and well, relatively small when compared to the rest of my wardrobe that consists of jeans, t-shirts, rugby socks, sports socks, and other comfy clothes.

And they were missing. Most of my underwear is missing and I don’t know where it’s going. My laundry lady doesn’t know where it’s going. I have become paranoid about my laundry and check for my undies as I’m folding and notice they are going missing in the washing process.

Well I did laundry for the very first time this semester and was greeted by a very excited laundry lady yelling “HAPPY NEW YEAR” as I walked into my laundry place and then she takes off running into the back of the building and comes running back out with handfuls of fabric. Excitedly she asks “Are these yours?” as she tossed the fabric on top of a closed washer and I saw…

My underwear. Every single missing pair of my undies were there in one mangled state or another.

What had been happening was that the washers in my laundry place are so old school and so not made to be washing my dedicates. Somewhere in the wash cycle, the washers were sucking up my panties and they were getting caught in the washers. Thankfully I didn’t break anything with my stringy panties, but sadly not a single pair of them are wearable they were all so badly mangled while living in various washing machines.

My laundry lady was excited to have found my panties and I was excited to know where they were going…but I’m still down to 5 pairs of undies.



2 thoughts on “Day 5.1 – The Undie Mystery

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